I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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