dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
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Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
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with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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