I'm really into asian looking animals
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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