who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize