ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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