I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
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If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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