OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
