I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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