i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize