I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Drake has all the answers
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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