Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
