I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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