i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
