I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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