champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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