She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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