I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
