Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
