Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think your dad took our porno
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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