JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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