Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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