kristin has been a bad kristin
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
