Taylor Swift is so right about you.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
