His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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