Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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