Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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