Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
