____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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