Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
