I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
