god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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