at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
