phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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