It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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