Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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