I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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