That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
