well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
