You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
