Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
