he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
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Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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