well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
