also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
