it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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