So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize