you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
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You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
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Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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