She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
