Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
