about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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