i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
