I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
