Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
