Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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