Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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