i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He passed out mid-signature
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
