So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
This house was built for laser tag.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
