last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
