she woke up with a sticky ear
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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